Archive | May, 2013

11 Things I Want My Daughter To Hear Me Say

11 Things I want my daughter to hear me say

I came across a link to a blog post recently titled something like “12 Things Your Daughter Needs To Hear You Say.” I was excited to read it, but the daughter of this mom is a teenager and their family values are different than ours. There was nothing on her list that I could imagine saying to my own daughter, especially at the ripe old age of 2.

So I made my own list. Here are 11 things I want my daughter to hear from me.

you can do this

1. You can do this.

I read a post this week by a mom saying she wasn’t helping her child up the ladder at the playground because she wanted her to learn that she can overcome an obstacle without help.

I resonate with that so strongly (even if I still sometimes help Bean up the ladder). I want her to hear me say, “You can do this,” and know I mean, “I believe in you. And I will celebrate with you. But I’m not going to make it happen for you.”

2. I hear you.

I’m sure it feels to Bean that all I ever say to her is “No.”

“Watch Martha?”

“No, not right now.”

“Me help cook?”

“No, this is too hot.”

“Me no sleepy!”

“No, you cannot stay up any longer.”

Because we are in opposition so often, and especially on days when we’ve been in conflict a lot, I want her to know that I do hear her.…

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To Do Something Big, Start Small

photo credit: bourgeoisbee via photopin cc

photo credit: bourgeoisbee via photopin cc

How do you know when you are ready to begin something big? How you know when you can handle a new pet? How do you decide when you are ready to expand your family? When do you feel ready to launch a blog or take a new job?

What if those are the wrong questions?

I think the right question to ask is, “What one step can I take toward what I want?”

I’d like to introduce you to the three newest members of our household: Honey, Rosie and Queen.

Queen, Rosie, and Honey

Queen, Rosie, and Honey

I have wanted to have chickens in the backyard for years, but each spring the chicks appear in the feed stores and I feel unprepared.  I don’t have a coop, I don’t know what breeds I want, I don’t know how to take care of them. Chickens live for a long time – 8 or 10 years for some breeds. I have trouble imagining my life more than a year or two from now, so making an 8-year commitment has given me pause every year. Until this year, when something shifted and I knew this was the spring we were going to buy chicks.…

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Keep It Simple: A Breakfast For Life At The Speed of Light


Keep it simple

One day last week, confronted with a fridge full of random food supplies and a cranky child at my knee, I threw together this breakfast for myself: Avocado mashed on a toasted whole wheat bagel. It isn’t gluten-free, or paleo, or clean eating, or any of the other ways to eat that are trending right now. It isn’t even pretty to photograph. But it was fast, I could make it while managing breakfast negotiations with the little one, and it kept me full until lunchtime.

This has been a week of not very many naps, of mornings that begin with begging for a TV show. A week of too many projects going on at the same time in the yard, strewn across my desk, and filling up my to-do list. It has been a week of us parents handing off a kid-shaped baton at the door in the evening and relying on iMessage the rest of the time to keep the business of this household running. This has been a week of too much, too fast, with too little rest and refilling.

This is the kind of simple I need right now. Fast, easy, nourishing.

What simple solutions have you found to get you through a crazy patch?

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Book Group Grandmothers

Book Group grandmothersMy daughter has nine grandmothers.

Four are by blood and marriage, as a result of complicated blended families on both sides.  The other five are the Book Group Grandmothers.

I am the youngest in my book group by easily 15 years.  I am the only woman whose children are not grown. This group has been meeting for 16 years now, 14 of them with me. Together we have experienced births and deaths of children, new marriages, divorces, heart surgeries, cancer diagnoses and treatment, transitions into new careers, retirement, grandparenthood and stay-at-home-motherhood. We have attended funerals, birthday parties, weddings, movies, choir performances, blessing ceremonies and baby showers together.

Each month we gather around a table in one of our kitchens, the selected book read or partially read or not yet even cracked open, to eat together and to talk.

We do read in our book group, and are discriminating about our picks, but we are laughingly lax at discussing them at our meetings.  We regularly joke that we are only in it for the good food and the wine.  Except I don’t think that’s why we are in it at all.  I think we are in it for the community and because we each respect and admire each other so much.…

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