Archive | February, 2015

The Real Problem With Pink Legos

Pink Legos are controversial. Are they bad for girls, or good for them? Are they insulting and limiting, or a great invitation to STEM-related play? I have an opinion about the problem with pink Legos, and it might not be quite what you'd guess...

My daughter turned four at the beginning of February. She’s interested in building things, pretend play, super heroes, and animals. Between those interests and the twin gift-giving holidays of her birthday and Christmas, my partner and I have had a lot of conversations about pink Legos in the last couple of months.

We try to be a household with a wide expression of the gender continuum. Although he works in an office and I stay home to be with our daughter and prepare our food, we pretty evenly divide everything else. He wears his hair long and I wear mine short. We both use the power tools, we both work on the cars, we both know how to sew and how to draw. We encourage our daughter to try everything, climb everything, say what she means, express her feelings and follow her interests into whatever subjects she’s curious about.

So even though our daughter’s favorite color is purple, buying the box of Legos that came in pink and purple still gave me pause.

You can read the rest of this post on Bluegrass Redhead, where I’m filling in while Sarah is on maternity leave this week. I’d love to hear what you think about Legos for boys and girls!

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The Most Important Love Letters You’ve Never Written

By mid-January, there are sparkling red hearts everywhere we turn, enjoining us to declare our love to our nearest and dearest. Pillows and cards, banner and cups. Love is everywhere. Doesn’t it make you want to pen love letters?



I try to say “I love you,” to my family every day. In the morning when I greet my daughter, I say, “Good morning, my love, how did you sleep?” I tell her I love her so many times each day that she just nods in response. Because yes, she knows. Likewise, I kiss my man and tell him I love him every time we part, whether we will be separated for a few minutes or several hours.

Even if you state your love generously to your family, what else are overlooking that also needs love? What could you create if you turned some loving energy on new parts of your life? What if, instead of writing a love letter to your lover, you wrote one to yourself? What would you say? What if you expressed your love for something less tangible, like money, or pain?

Here are six ideas for love letters you’ve probably never written, but definitely should.…

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Be Nice To Your Future Self

What can you do today be be nice to your future self? ::

I read about this idea, being nice to your future self, in a recent post by Heidi Swanton on 101 Cookbooks. She was talking about how making a big pot of soup so she’d have lunches to take with her to her studio is an act of kindness to her future self. What a brilliant way to think about taking time for self care, or organization, or preparedness, as a way to be nice to yourself in the future.

If I sit down with a cup of tea for 10 minutes before I go pick up my daughter from school, I’m being nice to my self two hours from now, when I would otherwise be grumpy with her.

If I choose to go to bed early tonight, I’m being nice to my tomorrow self.

If I sit down and make a menu plan on Sunday night, I’m being nice to my Monday morning self by having my shopping list ready before I go to the store, and my dinner hour self all week because I know what I’ll be cooking and I know I have all the ingredients.

If I plan a large meal on Monday, I’m being nice to my Tuesday and Wednesday selves when I can skip cooking and just reheat.…

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Mama Grief: Claim Your Right To Heal

So your baby is healthy, but you are still sad? Claim your right to heal, no matter what you are grieving. ::

I originally wrote this piece as a guest post on Modern Alternative Pregnancy in 2013. Writing it was cathartic and healing, but around Bean’s birthday, which is this week, wisps of this old sadness still rise. I hope sharing it again here will give some mama somewhere permission to voice and heal her grief, whatever that looks like for her. 

I cried when I came home from the hospital with my newborn daughter. I walked through our rooms, cleaned and prepared for us by my sister and my best friend, and sobbed. They had washed and put away the dishes. They brought a bouquet of flowers that nearly filled our dining room table. They put the red silk comforter back on our bed and deflated and put away the birthing tub that I never got to use.

Our daughter was supposed to be born there, delivered into warm water and surrounded by candles. I wanted her father to catch her body and bring her to my breast. I wanted the soothing music I had carefully selected.

So your baby is healthy, but you are still sad? Claim your right to heal, no matter what you are grieving. ::


Instead, on the morning of my third day of labor, when I was still only dilated 3 cm, exhausted and scared, we sat with our midwife and came up with a new plan.…

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