20 Questions Every Woman Should Ask Herself

Do you want to know yourself better? Understand where you are in your life and where you would like to be going? These 20 questions will give you an excellent start on that path. :: www.nurturedmama.net

The title of this post is the same title as an article that was in Oprah magazine last spring. These are not the same questions that were in the article.

The article was really good, but I was most struck by the very first question they listed: “Do I Examine My Life Enough?

I’m a life-examiner. I journal. I’ve been seeing a therapist on a regular basis for many years. I talk through my experiences and reactions to things with my close friends. I write about my life here and elsewhere because it helps me to understand it.

I can easily say “Yes,” in answer to the first question in that article, but I have talked to many women who might answer “Maybe?” or “I don’t know how to do that,” or even, “Wow, that’s scary,” in response.

If you are one of those women, this list is for you. Here are 20 questions to ask yourself if you want to know yourself better. 20 questions to help you step back to examine your life and where you are in it. Don’t like the answers? Don’t have answers to some of them? That’s where your work lies.

I’m going to write more about each of these questions in the coming months, because they are big and juicy topics that I’d like to explore further. For now, pull out a journal and a piece of paper and see where your first answers to these questions takes you.

  1. What do I really want in this moment?
  2. How do I want to be loved?
  3. Who do I need to forgive?
  4. Am I in my body?
  5. Do I love myself exactly as I am right now?
  6. What can I let go of?
  7. What did I love to do when I was a child?
  8. What would I love to learn?
  9. What is my superpower?
  10. When was the last time I felt truly joyful?
  11. Who is my community?
  12. What is beautiful to me and do I have some of that in my life right now?
  13. Do I know the sound of my own true voice?
  14. What practice consistently brings me home to my self?
  15. What do I want my legacy to be?
  16. What have I done for myself today?
  17. What is my story?
  18. Have I planned for my own death, and my survivors?
  19. How can I speak with more love today?
  20. Can I ask a better question?

I’d love to hear from you. Which of these questions was most illuminating? Which made you most uncomfortable? Leave a comment below.

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15 Responses to 20 Questions Every Woman Should Ask Herself

  1. Maryam January 12, 2017 at 11:02 am #

    This website is really for me. No. 5 made me uncomfortable. I dont keep time for self love

  2. Anne blimkie December 17, 2016 at 8:56 am #

    Awesome, awesome questions. I’m a couple years away from retirement and want to experience fully all life has to offer me when I don’t have to work all week. And I don’t want to sit around all the time. I recently friended someone new on Facebook and they asked me to tell them about me. This really got me thinking I want to know myself better , so I can continue to be a better person and to get the most out of life. I have experienced depression in my past and I do not want to go back there. THANKS for your help in contributing to my lifelong quest for self discovery and self improvement!

  3. maaza hassan September 9, 2016 at 11:10 pm #

    I’m surprised to see ,the questions you have asked.they really have taken out the best in me through these questions n i also have come to know the darker n brighter side of myself thanks.

  4. Laura Ortega June 1, 2016 at 11:08 am #

    What an enlightening post! I must admit–at first, I thought the post would have to do with impending motherhood, but I was happy to see how gender neutral it was. I’ve always kept a vigilant watch on how my life shapes up, and document it via writing. Fictionalized, of course. I can certainly relate to your question that you ask other women; more often than not, you get a bewildered expression and some variation of “I’ve never really thought about it,” like people just go through the motions toward one logical end without ever stopping to simply ask “why?”
    Thanks for lifting the lid on this!
    Laura Ortega recently posted…Don’t Tread on [Us]My Profile

    • Doña June 1, 2016 at 11:43 am #

      I’m glad you enjoyed this, Laura!

  5. Aliyah Brody May 31, 2016 at 7:24 pm #

    This is a very powerful and inspiring post, Dona. Tears were streaming as I read this today, on the 20th anniversary of my mother’s death, as I realized that I’ve finally forgiven her for wrongs so long ago. Instead, I want to go forward now, celebrating what was good and happy and focusing my energy on creating happiness in the present moment, for myself and my family.

    Thank you for these thought-provoking questions. I’m so looking forward to the posts you’ll be writing in the coming months.

    • Doña June 1, 2016 at 10:13 am #

      Thank you, Aliyah. I’m so glad this was a moving post for you. I have good stuff coming up!

  6. Nahlesu May 22, 2016 at 12:39 am #

    I love the questions…. All of them require self reflection. But what do you do in a pressurised container… Someone has to blow up someday. Thanks.

  7. Lilly martinez January 3, 2016 at 1:02 pm #

    Question that made me most uncomfortable to the point of tears was when was the last time i was truely joyful….it was when my boys were babies, they are now 17 and 15. I think it’s sad to have gone this long without feeling true joy.

  8. Laurie December 2, 2015 at 12:02 pm #

    This is a great blog post! I am definitely of self examiner. I could answer every question right away. The result is feeling overwhelmed by the work that needs to be done!:( Not that I didnt already understand but to take all of that in at one time… Just makes me go back to shut down mode :/

  9. Nae November 9, 2015 at 12:42 am #

    Wow. Best journal promps I’ve seen yet. Just started journaling and this made me feel. Thank you.

    • Doña November 16, 2015 at 12:37 pm #

      Thanks, Nae. I’m so glad these were helpful for you!

  10. Clare B May 14, 2015 at 1:50 am #

    Wow. I wasn’t able to easily answer any of these. Feeling very low and very, very lost at the moment. Time to turn within and respect my introvert need for alone-ness and contemplation.

    • Doña May 18, 2015 at 5:03 pm #

      Clare, I’m so sorry to hear you are feeling low. Feel free to email me if you want to talk through some ideas for how to get you some of that alone time! I wish I could swoop in and and pick up your kiddos for the afternoon!

  11. Cathy Krizik April 17, 2015 at 9:25 am #

    Love this. And your questions are way better than silly ole Oprah’s.

    My favorite? What is my superpower? That one stopped me and has me thinking.

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