A Better Way To Ask, "How Are You Today?"
I have a long-time friend who dislikes the question, "How are you today?" because he feels people answer out of habit, not really saying how they are. "Fine," we say, or "Pretty busy," But what he wants to know, when he asks someone how they are is how they really are. Not the habitual answer, but how they really are in that moment. He wants to connect.He asked me once what question he could ask to find out how I really am and I told him to ask me if I'd noticed the sky today.On days when my mind is busy and the to do list is pressing and noticing the world around me is not a priority, I don't notice the sky. It takes a certain amount of slowness, of presence, to look up and really notice. Sometimes a sunset will be so brilliant that it will wrest your attention no matter what, but a cotton candy puff of clouds, or a spinning length of contrail, I might not notice those. But if I'm not noticing the sky, I'm not noticing a lot of other things, either. Like if I'm hungry, or need a glass of water, or need to take a break. I'm probably not going slow enough to let my daughter explore at her own pace, and I'm probably forgetting to say "I love you," and "I hear you."A day when I can tell you about the sky is a good day.