10 Reasons You Should Really Just Go On That Trip
It is hard for most moms to even comprehend how to get away. There's the expense, of course, and our needs are often last on the list of things to budget for. There are all the things that won't get done while you are gone, like dinner on time and sock matching and dealing with all those pieces of paper that come home in the backpack. There is the complexity of covering yourself in all the things you do - school pick ups, practice drop offs, birthday present procuring and wrapping...I know it. It is a whole project to get one day off, and sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it. Keeping on just feels easier than bucking the system and ducking out for a while.
You need to go on that trip anyway.
I'm the full time parent with my daughter. If I'm not here to do something, it just doesn't get done. I pick her up and drop her off, I buy and cook the food, I take care of the schedules and the animals and the yard. I used to joke that when I left a job, they had to hire three people to replace me, but with this job, it seems like I need to call in favor chits with at least five people in order to go away for three days. I can tell you right now that's bad math, and I'm not even math inclined.But I make sure that I go away for a few days at least every six months. Sometimes I go solo, sometimes with a friend. It is hard and I do it anyway.Here's why it is that important to me, and why you need to do this, too:
Because you get to put down all your roles and labels and reconnect with who you really are underneath all that.
Because someone else does the cooking for a few days, and you get to just to eat it.
Because you can sleep without listening for a small voice calling from another room. Do you even remember how to sleep deeply?
Because you return with fresh perspective on what’s important and what can be let go. I almost always take a trip to Goodwill a few days after one of these trips.
Because it is good to be missed, and to miss, a little bit.
Because it is good for your kids (and our partners!) to acknowledge that there is more to us than being the person-who-does-all-the-things.
Because it is good for your kids to develop deeper relationships with their other parent, or their grandparents, or whoever you trust enough to leave them with. And good for YOU to develop relationships with people outside your family.
Because we are better mothers (and partners!) when we refill those parts of us that are ours alone.
Because we work hard, and deserve rest.
Because it is good for YOU to see that other people can capably fill your shoes, so fail to pick back up a couple of the things you set down when you left.
And this one bears repeating, it is so valuable: Because uninterrupted sleep.I'm not knocking family trips - there's a place for those, too. But let's face it moms, traveling with the family is much more like just relocating the work of mothering to a different location, not like taking a vacation.When was the last time you took a vacation? I realize there are all kinds of logistical issues at play here - schedules and child care and pet care and finances. But that's just logistics and I know you can work that out. What I know for sure is that the biggest thing that holds us back from taking time for ourselves is ourselves.What would you need to believe in order to say, "Yes, I'm going!"?