You Are Allowed To Have All Of It
You are allowed to like what you like, to dislike what you don’t.You are allowed to put yourself first. You are allowed to be selfish, even if it makes others jealous because they don’t know how to be.You are allowed to draw the line over which someone else may not cross and then draw again it as many times as you need to.You are allowed to choose your babies over your career, or to choose to leave your baby to feed your brain and heart.You are allowed to be specific about your needs.You are allowed to have needs.You are allowed to live by your values, even if your values don’t quite match everyone around you.You are allowed to feel sexy and act sexy, and tell your lover exactly what you like. Even if you don’t have a perfect body, or if you have scars (inside or out).You are allowed to make mistakes and be messy and change your mind. You are allowed to have a mind, and opinions.You are allowed to wear a swimsuit to matter what shape your body is. You are allowed to wear strappy tops even if you have big arms or scars.You are allowed to wear bikinis, especially if that’s the best way to find an underwire top that fits your cup size. You are allowed to let people see your stretch marks.You are allowed to set down the stories about what is possible and write yourself new ones.You are allowed to be angry and sad at the same time.You are allowed to speak up about the big issues in the world and also to sometimes turn off the news and focus just on the issues in your home.You are allowed to say, “No, thank you,” and also “Oh, hell no!” and also simply, “No,” without needing to explain or apologize.You are allowed to eat dessert and then have a second serving if you want that, too.You are allowed to listen to your body’s hungers and stop when you are full or put on that silk nightgown when you have a need for softness, even when you are sleeping alone.You are allowed to be curious and wild.You are allowed to go slow. You are allowed to go fast.You are allowed to reach for that big dream, even if you aren’t sure how to get there or if you are still paying off your loan for a degree in a different field.You are allowed to not know what you are doing all the time and you are allowed to make mistakes.You are allowed to make a boatload of money, be the smartest person in the room, know the answer and be first to raise your hand.You are allowed to live big and are not responsible if your bigness makes other people aware of their smallness.You are allowed to apologize, even when it might make you look weak, and you are allowed to refuse to smile when you don’t feel like smiling.You are allowed to get rid of all the gifts you’ve been given that don’t fit who you are now and maybe never did.You are allowed to get rid of all the clothes that are worn out or don’t fit right, and buy yourself ones that look and feel great on you.You are allowed to be trendy and you are allowed to ignore the trend.You are allowed to geek out about whatever thing makes you happy, even if someone else might thing it is silly.You are allowed to be soft, to love babies and cry at commercials. You are also allowed to be fierce and capable. You are allowed to be both at the same time.You are allowed to be loved. You don't have to do anything to earn it.I give you permission.But more importantly, I give you permission to give yourself permission.